So, as the title of this little post suggests, it’s going to be a bit of an oversharing one. Haven’t done it in a while, so, why the hell not. And, judging by the sheer amount of googling I’ve done over the last week about the Mirena, I am guessing that quite a lot of people still search for answers.
I have had a whole host of problems since I had my youngest, he was impossible to conceive, to birth and, quite frankly, he’s caused a million problems since he was dragged, by forceps, during an emergency c-section, into the world.
God love him.
Anyway. 8.5 years down the line, I decided, enough was enough. I’ve always had awful periods, when I was a teenager I used to be physically sick with the pain, which would last around 2-3 days, then it would settle down enough for me to live an actual life. I ended up going on the pill at around 15 to deal with it. The pill worked fine, all through the smoking, drinking, partying years right up until we got married and decided to create our own mini-me.
Fun fact. Child one, easy to conceive, easy (in context) to birth. Would not sleep for shit for the first 4 years of her life. Child two, impossible, impossible, and yet, slept through, in his cot, all night, from 8 weeks. Which is better?!
Long awaited baby boy is here, I’m out of intensive care (I told you he was impossible) and back in the land of the living. I think it was around 11 weeks when I got my period back. And it lasted for roughly, ooh, give or take a few days, 14 months. We tried all sorts, the pill, medication, the pill AND medication. I had procedures to check everything was ok, and I had a Mirena fitted. Then we added the pill, and then we added medication. So that’s 3 different options, all at once, and yet, my period still didn’t stop.
Eventually, after I decided I’d had enough of feeling like I was going to strangle the next person to look at me, I had the coil removed, I stopped all forms of contraception and medicine, and I just waited it out. Long (god, so long) story short, my periods did eventually get back into some sort of cycle each month, but, of course, in the world of Kate, they were back to being awful and life controlling at times.
Finally, at the grand age of 36, the doctors decided to let me have an ablation. This, in layman’s terms, is where the womb lining is lasered off. Uh huh, fun stuff! Burnt away, with the intention of it not coming back, or, at least not for a few years. Apparently, I’m old when it comes to having more babies, but young when it comes to stopping myself having more babies. Good to know medical profession, good to know.
Because the ablation gets rid of the womb lining, getting pregnant isn’t advised, so the doctor decided the damn Mirena was the way forward again. Me, being me, agreed to it, but was convinced it wasn’t right for me, right up until the moment the magic drugs kicked in and sent me to sleep.
I should have said no, it doesn’t work for me, we’ll find another solution thanks all the same. Because oh my fucking god (yes, this does warrant swears) the Mirena coil is evil. Within a week of it I was ready to rip my husbands face off. Literally AND figuratively. He suggested I lock myself in the bedroom (full of bright ideas) but even that wouldn’t have worked. I am sure I would still be able to hear him breathe from up there. Plus, I was driving myself mad as much as he was. There was a rage inside of me that was just itching to get out.
My face broke out in lovely hormonal, angry spots. I slept badly, and I had a constant pain in my left side, like a stitch but in a red hot poker way.
So, you know, fun times.
If you hit up Google, chances are you’ll only find negative responses to something. We all know people like to go online to moan (hello!) about the bad stuff, but if it’s all peachy, well, then they’re out there having fun and not even considering telling the world how they feel. But I am amazed at how many pages there were of women saying the same thing. Every single one was feeling ready to commit murder, unable to cope, exhausted, emotional, angry. But, check the Mirena leaflet, and it doesn’t even mention that as a side effect. Funny that?
I’m not one to beat around the bush (pardon the pun) and I was freely telling anyone who would listen that this coil was trying to kill me. Or at least get me behind bars. And do you know how many times the response was “already?” “are you sure?” “do you think you should give it time to settle?”
My answers were, respectively, Yes. Yes and No. But thanks.
I know my body. Surprisingly, because we seem to battle almost daily but that’s a whole other post. And I know when something isn’t working for me. If I had trusted my instincts beforehand, I wouldn’t even be writing this post, but I didn’t. I was led on by the promise of no periods and no contraception concerns.
This time though, I wasn’t prepared to wait 14 months to see how long it needed to settle in. If you’re invading my personal space, you better get yourself comfy pretty damn fast. I don’t have time to feel that kind of anger. I don’t want to be both, miserable and explosive. And I certainly don’t want more and more spots popping up on my chin. I’m 36 years old, my kids are at an easy age, I’ve got a business to run (no matter how small it is, it’s still mine) and a life to lead. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Today the Mirena was removed. I went into the surgery fully prepared for war. Whatever suggestion the doctor had, I was ready to bat it off. Except she turned and said, “I can see you’re on the edge, shall we do it now?” I could have kissed her. Legs akimbo, big cough please, bye bye little t-shaped source of evil. Apparently it was kinked and a little twisted which could explain the pains in my side, but I was SO relieved to have it out of my body.
If you’re having side effects that make you feel like you’re going out of your mind, even after a week, a month, a year. Speak to the doctor. Find something else that works for you. We’re not all the same and we won’t all react the same to synthetic hormones. I know now, without a shadow of a doubt that I cannot put them in my body anymore, in any shape or form. You might be a lucky one, you might find the Mirena to be the best thing since contraceptive sliced bread. You go gurl.
Me? I am going to take my lasered womb, grab a hot water bottle and watch Bake Off. Safe in the knowledge that should my husband breath in a certain way, neither of us will be leaving in a blue lighted vehicle.