Seeing as I wrote about my red hair last week, I thought I’d stick with the ‘ginger theme’ for this post. Being authentic to myself and all that.
To clarify. I have pale skin. I have always had pale skin and I will always have pale skin. It’s not a shocker, it’s not even really all that newsworthy (great blog content then Kate) but Jesus do people like to comment on it.
So, if you ever find yourself face to face with a real life pale person (Argh! Wear sunglasses, protect your eyes……!) here are some things NOT to say to them. Because, you know, it’s boring AF and you sound really stupid.
Wow, you’re SO pale!
Uh huh. Thanks for reminding me. I had thought that I might have changed hue since I left the house this morning but apparently not. Pointing out something about another person is kind of ridiculous. We already know. Unless it’s “oh my god you have a spider on your shoulder!!” It’s not news to us and we are more than aware what colour we are. Just like people know they have red hair, are hugely pregnant or have a hat on. It’s obvious, k?
Have you ever had a tan?
Surprisingly. No. My skin isn’t just pale because I like it that way. It’s because of the MC1R gene, which gives me my red hair, my pale skin and my freckles. People with darker skin have high levels of eumelanin and low levels of pheomelanin, whereas us redheads have it the other way round. Pheomelanin is a pinkish colour, which will explain the hair, pale skin and eyes. It also means the skin isn’t able to protect itself naturally against the sun, so we burn, fast, if we don’t wear sunscreen. Little bit of science for you there. You’re welcome.
Look how tanned I am compared to you!
Uh huh. Sure, let’s do that, because that is a fun thing to do. Oooh, what will the result be, who will be more tanned, you or me?
Are you OK? You look ill?
Well thanks! Actually I’m fine, I just forgot to put full make up on this morning because I couldn’t be arsed, but instead of just looking like I didn’t put make up on, I also look like I have some disease.
I bet if you got a bit of sun every day, you’d gradually tan.
Trust me, I could go to the sun for a couple of hours a day for the rest of life. It will never happen. I can’t think of a clearer way of saying this….
Fake Tan is a lifesaver isn’t it?
Um, sadly, no. Fake tan works on everyone but reds. No matter the brand (and I have tried a few) I always end up looking slightly wotsit-like. It doesn’t develop in the same way on my skin, and it certainly doesn’t make me look any healthier. In fact, I just look like I’ve used really cheap fake tan. Which wasn’t the outcome I was looking for. And, surprisingly, I quite like my pale skin.
You’d look so much better with a bit of colour.
Pretty sure that’s bordering on bullying. Imagine saying the reverse to someone with dark skin. Thanks though.
Maybe your freckles will join up and you’ll look tanned!
Yeah! Maybe! And maybe your brain cells will come together and start working huh! Let’s see which happens first.
Don’t come out today, you might burst into flames.
Oh my god yes, I was worried about that today actually. I’ll stay in until it’s dark, then we’ll all be safe. Seriously. Fuck off.
Any others you’ve experienced?