Tomorrow is New Years Eve. It always comes a week after Xmas but seems to surprise me each year. I get so caught up in it almost being Christmas that I forget it’s the end of the year as well.
I’m really not interested in going out and getting shit faced to bring in the New Year. My urge for partying reduces each time the hangover feels worse.
As we wave goodbye to 2018, I realised it’s been quite a good year. I’ve camped (in an actual tent) for longer than 2 nights. And (kind of) enjoyed it. I’ve moved house. I’ve survived through mock GCSE stress and I’ve seen my youngest go away on a school trip which had ZERO parental contact. I’ve started a new business (I was going to add the word ‘little’ in there, but I’m not doing that anymore) and I’ve sold out of stock 3 times over. I’ve instagrammed the shit out of events, and come off social media for a while to save my sanity.
We’ve had the Beast from the East, the hottest summer in forever and almost the World Cup. I even cried at a Royal wedding. The husband has flown a helicopter (may have swooned a bit) and I lost a beautiful person from my life.
But what have I actually learned this year?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to change something about myself. Always had that little voice in my head that starts a sentence like “once I’ve done/got/changed/lost (insert word here) I’ll be happy…..”
But, 2018 Kate has learned that this is a big fat lie.
On the rare occasions I did change something, lose weight, or whatever, I was straight onto the next thing I felt I needed to change. It’s a never ending cycle of self sabotage.
The only way to actually be happy is to just do it. Appreciate everything you have, everything you are and just bloody enjoy life while you have it. Follow your heart, and your intuition on things and you can’t go far wrong. I’ve always ignored my intuition, only to regret it when things go wrong. But now, when my gut is telling me something, I try to listen.
I’m not, for one second, saying I’m perfect, far from it. I want to get healthier, for healths sake, in 2019. I want to find a yoga class I can go along to, not because I want to photograph myself doing a downward dog and get all the likes, but because I want to use it to chill the fuck out. But, who I am right now, before I make any changes, is just as fine as who I could be at the end of next year.
You Don’t Have To Share It
Bloody social media. I’ve had a real love affair with it in the past, wanting to post everything and anything. When stories came to Instagram, it took me a while to appreciate it, but then, when I realised I could post my unedited (and more real life) life on there, I was all over it like a rash.
Lately, it’s been more of a chore than something I enjoy. Finding the right photo, being at the right event, posting at the right time to get the right amount of likes to beat the god damn algorithm – has all equalled a big fat eff off to Instagram. The amount of effort it takes to get the right image has completely battered the original concept of Instagram being, well, instant.
I’ve been using social media for La Lune London, but my personal page has taken a back seat. I still love nothing more than scrolling through my feed, watching my favourite accounts on stories and getting inspiration but I don’t feel the need to post my ENTIRE LIFE on there anymore.
No doubt I’ll get sucked in again soon, but for now, I’m enjoying being social in real life.
Life Is For Living Your Way
Happiness Is The Key
At the end of the day (year!) all that really matters is happiness. However that feels for you. I don’t have massive goals for 2019. I don’t want to set myself up to fail. All I want from the New Year is to feel content with my life.
I really believe in speaking as if it’s already happened, something I learned from Gala Darling (read her books!) the power of manifestation, and, I think 2019 is the year that I step into that side of myself more, there’s a full on hippie living inside of me, and I’m going to let her live wild and free in the new year! Expectations, judgements, punishing myself (and others) for things that are out of our control, none of them are welcome in the next year.
2017 was the year of hell for me, 2018 was about repairing the damage and learning from it. By my reckoning, 2019 is about revelling in the changes that have come about and stepping into a new year with happiness.
So that’s me. The top things I’ve learned this year. There are probably a million other things, smaller, bigger, things that will occur to me once I’ve pressed publish.
Tomorrow we’ll be seeing in the new year with a glass of something cold – Aperol for me, some nibbles and the TV. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Living my dream.