1: Washing your hair is not a quick 5 minute job. It takes time to work up the energy to do it, never mind actually doing it.
2: Dry shampoo is your friend throughout the week, but you need a permanent supply because standard bottles last a matter of days.
3: Whacking it up in a ponytail isn’t as simple as it sounds. There are so many factors to consider. Hairbands that can take the weight, the right angle so you don’t feel like you’re pulling your hair from it’s roots and don’t even get me started on headaches.
4: Having a steamy shower sounds fun, just don’t get my hair wet OK?
5: Damp weather = massive hair.
6: Hot weather = massive hair.
7: There is nowhere you can put your mane to help cool down when you’re hot. Nowhere. You may as well be wearing a wooly hat.
8: People will always tell you you have a lot of hair. Like you’ve never noticed.
9. On hair wash days you know you have to get up 2 hours earlier to make it presentable for work. Are you prepared to do that? No. So you go to bed with wet hair and hope for the best.
10: When you go to bed with wet hair you’re not stupid enough to expect it to be dry in the morning. That is for people with normal amounts of hair.
11: Layers are not always your friend. Find a hairdresser who gets this and doesn’t insist on chopping into your hair to ‘remove some weight’.
12: Same with thinning scissors. Don’t even come near me with those.
13: A messy bun isn’t as easy as it sounds with this much hair.
14: There is a real possibility you may strange yourself at night.
15: Your hair will magically find itself under your armpits while you sleep. Rendering you trapped.
16: If you manage to lay on it in a certain way, you’ll be trapped again. Unable to lift your head OR your upper body.
17: If anything manages to fly into your hair, good luck getting it out again.
18: You get through shampoo and conditioner quicker than Corrie gets through drama.
19: The amount of hair that comes out when you wash it doesn’t seem to affect the thickness AT ALL. HOW??
20: Blocked shower drains are your speciality.
21: Special events mean special do’s which means spending money. You don’t have the skills or arm strength for anything other than straight or wild.
22: Wearing a coat, a scarf, a bag AND your hair is akin to a challenge on the Krypton Factor.
23: Don’t attempt to use your sunglasses as a way of keeping your hair off your face. Unless you enjoy looking like cousin IT when you try to remove them.
24: Shutting the car door while it’s windy isn’t as easy as it sounds. But it’s a lot more painful than you’d think.
25: If someone listens to these moans and dare suggests you cut it, you are INCENSED and wonder why the hell you’re friends with someone like that.