Katie

I was going to call this feature ‘Monday Morning Meeting’ – like proper grown ups who have proper jobs do each Monday, but before I knew it, Monday morning became Monday afternoon and the whole alliteration thing was ruined so I had to start again.

Welcome to the Tuesday Tittle-Tattle. Where I will (in theory) do a little round-up of what kerrrazy shit I’ve been up to, in the vain hope that it will force me to make my life a little more interesting. I am well aware that there will be very little kerrrazy shit, but one can hope!

This week is all about Christmas!

There are a few traditions in the AG household that we’ve accumulated over the years.

For example, we’re not allowed to put the tree up before the first week of December has passed. But we are allowed to badger Mr AG in the lead up to December about doing it early. Just in case he says yes. Although, even if he did, we wouldn’t do it because of that one year where we got our tree on our anniversary (1st December) and then had to drive around looking for a new one on Christmas Eve as ours had literally no needles left.

He really loved me that day.

What we can do however, is start the festivities outside the house. There is no time limit on those bad boys, and, to that I say, the earlier the better!

I mean, we’re not talking October here. Once we’ve got rid of Bonfire Night and we’re into the 3rd week of November, it’s basically time to start singing the Christmas songs as far as I’m concerned. Any earlier than that though, just means you’ll be sick of it come December. And nobody wants to be the Grinch.

So, to kick off the Christmas vibe this weekend we hit up Winter Wonderland!

It’s been years since we’ve visited Hyde Park in December. We used to go along to the press launch evenings, where it was practically empty aside from celebs and we could jump on all the rides for free. But, after visiting one Saturday in December for our wedding anniversary, where TAG and I had to walk in single file and could barely hold a conversation, we decided to scrap it off our list.

We’re fickle like that.

This year however, the gorgeous people at Zippos Circus invited us along to the Family Press Day and the love affair with Winter Wonderland has begun all over again!

We spent the entire day walking round London (we did 8.5 miles of trekking to be precise) and finished off with a veggie Wagamama (more on that in another post) before jumping on the train home to watch the Strictly eviction. I mean, if that’s not a Sunday of content I don’t know what is quite frankly.

I’m not going to lie, Winter Wonderland is still the busiest place on earth. We got there around 11ish and it was deceptively quiet. I wondered if it was because we were there before December (remember, ‘some’ people think November is too early to be Ho Ho Ho’ing) but in actual fact it was more like some people thought 11am was too early to do anything and they all rocked up at the same time, which was roughly 12.30, in case you’re wondering.

This time we took in some of the shows, namely Zippos Christmas Circus and the Magical Ice Kingdom as well as all the rides, food and booze. It had to be done!

I’m not sure what I was expecting from the circus, it’s been many, many years since I went to one, and I questioned whether it was something that would entertain my social media loving, YouTubing duo. But ya know what? Entertain it did! Be gone the scary faced clowns and the animal tricks which never sat right with me, even as a kid. Now there’s acrobats to make you hide behind your face (it was like a live showing of BGT) a clown that reminded me so much of Lee Evans I felt like we were watching him live, and record breaking jugglers.

It was bloody brilliant!

If you’re thinking of visiting Winter Wonderland, it’s open everyday 10am – 10pm and it’s free entry. It’s not cheap to eat (or drink) there but if you’re looking for something to kick start Christmas and you don’t mind a few (thousand) people, it’s got to be on your Christmas list!

Side note – we were gifted some vouchers for the rides and shows but not in return for a blog post, I just thought I’d share it with you. I’m good like that.

For as long as I can remember, all the way back to the beginning of my memories, I’ve been called bossy.

It’s always been a negative word, something used to describe me in a dramatic and non complimentary way. I got so used to hearing it in my school reports, by family, that I took it on myself and started to actively tell people I was bossy before they could reach that conclusion themselves. In case they discovered this piece of information and wondered how on earth they could be friends with such a monster.

The funny thing is, bossy is predominately a feminine adjective. Have you ever heard the male of the species being called bossy? I am going to bet my backside you have not, because this, dear readers, is how the Cambridge Dictionary defines the word:

She’s strong without being bossy.
Stop being so schoolmarmish and bossy!
My older sister was very bossy.
Girls of that age can get quite bossy.

What hope do we have when a simple word like bossy becomes purely about women? Boys are just confident, strong, they know their own minds. But us females, we’re just getting ideas above our station, bless us!

I don’t doubt for one second that I was a bossy child, in that I (assumed) I knew what was the best way to do some things, and I didn’t see a problem in sharing my views with others. Because, that’s what everyone else did so why wouldn’t I? I had a brain, a voice, I was quite happy to use them.

My bossiness was never about trying to exert my power over other people, I’m not even sure bossiness in a child can be about power at all, it’s more about finding your voice, standing up for what you believe in and being brave enough to stand by that. Something that is, sadly, all to often fleeting, and for me, was replaced by feelings of self-doubt and insecurity in my adult years.

I absolutely hated being called bossy when I was child. Every single time it was used to describe me, in person or in writing, it would kick start a bubble of rage deep inside. It didn’t help that I had bright red hair, because, of course, that made me even bossier. The MC1R gene giving me more than just pale skin, blue eyes and hair the colour of the sun, it was also giving me the inability to listen to other people and go, full steam ahead, into everything I did.

The people who decided I was bossy never used it to hurt me, it was more a “oh look at her, there she goes again” eye rolling kind of way. Always (from my parents anyway!) said in love.

But for me, the word bossy wasn’t something I wanted to be, I didn’t want to be that difficult child, the spoilt brat who wouldn’t listen to anyone else, I knew that wasn’t who I was. But, because I knew my own mind and wasn’t afraid to say it, I was given a label that didn’t feel like it belonged, I was never proud of it.

Looking back, I wish I could speak to that bossy little redhead and tell her to hold tight. That being ‘bossy’ wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant that I was passionate and assertive and those characteristics would serve me well growing up. And the word, with all it’s negative connotations, was just a word. It didn’t have the power to label me in any negative way, I could be proud of being bossy. I could have and should have rolled with it!

Now, when I see my kids standing up for what they believe in, arguing back, in a respectful and kind way, I am so bloody proud. I am all over that ‘bossy’ gene being passed down and getting a little face lift in the next generation. Just by changing the way we think of one tiny word, we’re giving a whole generation a chance to revel in their power and strength and use it for good. Greta Thunberg is out there fighting to change the future of our planet, and we still have people trying to shoot her down, calling her out for being a bossy little madam. If she’s the definition of bossy then I am perfectly OK with my kids seeing that and aspiring to be like her!

There is nothing wrong with being bossy. But there is a whole lot wrong with the way it’s being used, even now. It’s not purely for the girls, boys can be bossy too! Times are changing, and we have to make sure our vocabulary changes with it. Either call all sexes bossy, or none.

Newsflash! You don’t need a vagina to be in the bossy club.

How to get back on track after being made redundant

Redundancy is one of those things that make us all think “that won’t happen to me.”

The good news, for the most part, is that’s true – the majority of us will go through life without having to face turbulence in our jobs. There are, however, a significant number of people who will face potential redundancy through no fault of their own, meaning it’s something we should all be prepared for.

The most important thing during and after a redundancy process is to get back on track with normal life as soon as possible, but how do you go about doing that?

Don’t wait for the worst to happen

Getting caught completely off guard by redundancy is one of the worst scenarios you can face. Considering many young adults in particular don’t have any savings to speak of, an unexpected redundancy could leave many quite literally out in the cold.

This is where the importance of savings or an emergency fund comes in. It might not be the most fun thing in the world to put money to one side every month, but it could be the difference between being able to capably manage a redundancy period and facing real financial trouble.

Get frugal

You may think you are living in a cost-effective manner, but if you’ve never taken steps to address your spending habits, the chances are you’ll have at least some amount of frivolous spending in your life. Of course, while you’re earning a steady salary this isn’t too much of a concern, but if you’re going to face a month or two without pay, it becomes much more significant.

If you’re made redundant, look to review your spending immediately, focusing on all your unnecessary spending and tightening your monthly budget to only include essentials. If you’re still struggling for cash flow, you can look to get a little extra help to keep yourself ticking over, get a credit card to help spread out your costs or look to family for financial support. Just make sure you’re in a position to repay things in full once you’re back up and running.

Get all the support you can

Redundancy is a difficult time that comes with more than just financial strain. Many can find it as much of an emotionally distressing period as a financially troubled one – in fact the two tend to go hand in hand.

The best thing you can do is use what support network you have around you. Your family and friends will be supportive to your cause and be willing to offer you help to get back on your feet. Whether that’s a loan from the bank of mum and dad, valuable advice from someone who’s been in the same situation as you previously or just a good time hanging out with your friends to take your mind off things, make sure to use the emotional resources you have around you.

Enjoy your “time off”

Yes, redundancy is a stressful time, so this one might be easier said than done. But, if you can, try and use your time away from work to enjoy yourself. After all, we spend most of our working days wishing we had more time off to do what we want to do, so if the time is there – why not use it.

You might not have a lot of money to do things, but you can enjoy activities on your own terms through the day, even if it’s just an extra hour in bed on the morning or a nice walk in between your job search efforts. Making the most of your time will help keep you in a good headspace going forward, which is probably the most important factor on the road to recovery.

Redundancy is never a good thing, but it can be very manageable if you’re prepared for it. If you’re already living to a tight budget and have curbed your spending habits, you will be in a stronger position should you ever get some unexpected news at work.

Shoes: can you really have too many?

According to research, the cost of the average woman’s shoe collection sits at just over £600 – with around four fifths of us owning at least one pair that we’ve never even worn. Put like this, it might seem like a bit of an embarrassing waste of money (not to mention space). After all, you can only wear one pair of shoes at the same time!

But there’s a reason that so many of us elect to invest in vast collection. Different shoes suit different purposes. You wouldn’t wear the same footwear to the beach that you would on a night out in November. What’s more, a change of footwear can have a considerable impact on the way that your overall outfit looks, and thus they’re a great way to mix things up. Shoes come in an enormous variety of shapes, colours and materials, and thus a large enough collection will offer something to match just about every mood.

Unlike the other items of clothing hanging in our wardrobes, shoes won’t stop fitting if we gain or lose weight. If a shoe fits and is comfortable when you first put it on, then the chances are that it’ll remain loyal throughout their lifespan.

And, of course, most shoes are inherently pretty – every time you buy a pair you’ll get a little dopamine rush that’ll keep you coming back to spend a portion of your paycheck on an item of clothing that you might never wear. Online shopping makes things even easier; you don’t need to spend hours fighting through the shopping-centre crowds on a Saturday afternoon, when instead you can just click on a few icons and have them arrive on your doorstep a few days later?

So, just as some people collect books, and some people collect coins, and others collect stamps, some people (mostly women) collect shoes. There are worse things to hoard!

How to get your shoe collection organised

One of the major downsides of a huge shoe collection is the space they’ll take up in the hallway, and at the bottom of your wardrobe. Unfortunately, most women don’t make the best use of the available space. To do this, you’ll need to get creative with shoe racks and built-in wardrobes. The right rack will allow you to conveniently stack shoes right next to each other, which means less empty space, and more efficient storage.

Probably the most space-efficient and convenient storage solution comes in the form of a sliding shoe rack. These are mounted on castors, and work in the same way as drawers, usually sitting at the bottom of your wardrobe. A bespoke solution from a fitted furniture company like Hammonds will help you get your shoe collection into browsable order.

First time in London – Must-see tourist destinations

London remains one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world, with almost 38 million inbound visits in 2018 alone making up 50% of all UK visits. It is a city of great culture, history and atmosphere and it has so much to offer that it’s unlikely you’ll get everything in during just one visit. However, if you are visiting for the first time and want to get a handle on the ‘must visit’ locations then look no further.

Harrods – No trip to London can be complete without a couple of hours spent in the world’s most famous luxury department store. Even if you don’t want to buy anything (and with the prices, we certainly wouldn’t blame you) it’s worth a visit just to marvel at the decor, the decadence and the iconic Egyptian escalator. Not to mention the food court!

The Museums – London perhaps rivals even New York as the city with the most to offer in terms of astonishing museums. Within walking distance of one another you’ll find the National History Museum, the V&A, the TATE Modern and the British Museum. That’s before we even begin to mention the more esoteric selections such as the Sherlock Holmes Museum. You could spend a week in London just doing a museum tour, but if you’re only planning a flying visit then you might want to consider your interests and research beforehand, planning your available time accordingly.

Camden Market – Very much the yin to the yang of Harrods and Oxford Street, Camden Market is a hive of activity and is home to some of the best bargains in the city. It’s also a hipster’s paradise surrounded by bars and restaurants offering everything from artisanal street food to gourmet cuisine. The area is also legendary for its live music scene. Placed alongside the lock, it’s the market that remains the real draw, however. For those of you with a little more cash to flash, meanwhile, Notting Hill Market offers a similar atmosphere only with a far more exclusive price tag.

Kings Cross – If you’re travelling to London by rail, then chances are you’re catching a train to King’s Cross station. The station is a legitimate tourist attraction in and of itself, particularly if you’re a fan of the Harry Potter books and movies. Indeed, ‘platform 9 and 3/4’ has become one of the most iconic photo opportunities in the city in recent years.

Tower of London – A London day out like no other, this is the big one. Experience the 900-year-old former old royal palace, prison and zoo (really) and sink into the history of the place, which also happens to contain the world’s most famous jewellery – the crown jewels. Not only one of the most famous building’s in the world but one of the most well-kept historical relics in Europe, if you only have time to do one thing in London, this should probably be up there.

Despite it being 17 years ago, I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.

Silly moments stick in my head the most, like the midwives asking me, on a scale of 1 – 10 how bad the pain was, and me replying that I had no idea as I’d never done it before! In my head, it was clearly a 10 but my rational side told me it was going to get a lot worse!

The pethidine making me feel like I was in the room but not quite there, telling the anaesthetist that I loved them for giving me an epidural, regardless of the fact that I was adamant I didn’t want one.

T disappearing below my knees when the epidural was being put in because he can’t stand needles but still wanted to support me, from the floor.

Then, 16 hours later there you were. Placed on my chest, your tiny, tiny bottom fitting in one of my palms.

Jet black hair, bright blue eyes that were wide open and staring at everyone in the room, but mostly at me. You didn’t make a single sound when you were born, I had to ask if you were ok, expecting a screaming baby, but nothing. Just you, completely calm, alert and absolutely beautiful.

Weighed at 6lb 13oz (so much for the “she’ll be a big baby” comments) and checked, then it was time to remove all the tubes, wires & plasters from me, having a wash and being wheeled to the ward. I still remember the amazement that they let me hold you the whole way there! What if I dropped you, or didn’t know what I was doing & they realised. But, luckily, I didn’t and they didn’t…..

The next few days were a whir of visitors, people popping in to meet you and give you cuddles. Looking back now, I wish I’d kept it just the two of us for a while longer. Our own private baby bubble.

When we finally made it home it felt real. You were so brand new but it felt like I’d known you forever.

Those days were so long ago, but they feel like they’re in touching distance, that they were moments that just happened.

I don’t think I realised until I had you, how fast time goes. Even then, as a new mum, when days felt never-ending and I was exhausted beyond recognition, I didn’t appreciate how quickly it would be gone.

What I wouldn’t give to have those moments all over again, you falling asleep on my chest every evening, eating dinner with one hand because you needed to be cuddled, snuggling up on the sofa watching Dora the Explorer over and over and over again, your tiny little hand always in mine, always making sure I was there, just in case.

Sometimes, I lay in bed at night, listening to you laughing at something on your phone and wonder how we’ve got to seventeen. How we have blinked, and the years have gone.

I think about all the things I did wrong as a parent, the times I shouted at you or punished you when I should have listened and cuddled you instead. When I didn’t really know what I was doing and we learnt together, all the times I sent you to bed and then felt guilty for something and would wake you up to give you one last kiss.

I remember so much about you but feel like I’ve forgotten it all at the same time. I’m scared and excited by your future all at the same time. If I could replay the last 17 years all over again, knowing what I know now, I would, in a heartbeat.

I am so proud of the woman you’ve become. The kindest, most gentle soul I will ever know. You make me laugh more than anyone, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt I can trust you. I also know you can’t lie to save your life, and I’m proud of that too!

I’m so glad I got you, seventeen years and two days ago. That is most definitely one thing I wouldn’t ever change.

Happy Birthday H-Bo xxx