I started this month raring to go and full of enthusiasm for blogging – the kids were back to school and I would finally have some time to sit down, think & write. It’ll be easy I thought. The ideas will flow so fast I’ll have at least 4 posts a week scheduled I thought.
I was a dick.
We all know I’m a bit of an over-sharer – I have to be, to be a blogger, in my opinion. But that’s not always the case. I’m like two sides of a coin, on one (lets call it heads) I overshare all the way to the moon and back (on certain things) on the flip side (tails, obviously) I don’t share at all when it comes to other situations.
Closed book, motormouth. That’s what I am. Bloody hell I’m complicated.
I find writing personal posts (within my levels of comfort) quite easy, whether you want to read them or not is another thing, maybe I should stick to events and products, but I always think it’s good to scatter a little bit of real life in here, and I’m getting better at being honest most of the time. If you ‘meet’ me on social media, you’d think I was quite confident, I mean, who in their right mind would stick a dodgy filter on their face and talk to their phone throughout the day? Not a shy bird right?
I am such a pain in the arse. I have this whole WTF vibe going on. I want to be liked, but I also think, eff you if you don’t like me. I want to get my blog out there but I really like being at home with my little family & not traipsing round London at night. It’s all so confusing.
I recently saw someone say they had decided to say yes for a year. A whole year. And yes to EVERY SINGLE THING. My first thought was, quite literally, “what in the hell would you do that for” – imagine if you got asked to go somewhere at 9pm on a Tuesday evening!? Urgh. But then I thought about it and I could see (some) positives. Who knows where one ‘yes’ would lead you? What you’d learn or gain from it. I’m sure you’d lose a shit load of sleep, but apparently that’s not the be all and end all in life. Who knew.
I need to leave my little zone of comfort. I do. Which is really bloody annoying because I’ve worked hard to make it comfortable, it’s taken me a good while and now it’s exactly how I like it.
Murphy and his law need to bugger off.
I’m going to start small. I don’t like to rush myself. Saying yes to working on content where I have to get my actual face out there. Being *in* photos (without said stupid filter) and liking what I see back. Actually, that’s not starting small, that’s quite a big step, who am I kidding!? Ok, we’ll start with being in the photos and work our way up to liking them.
Then events. The thing that bloggers need to do in order to get their name and face out there. Why do they all have to be in London!? How much easier would it be to drive to an event and then drive home again. I need to have a word with these brands. But, I am going to go along to the next London one that takes my fancy. Even if it does mean cars, trains and tubes.
I want it to help me be more sociable and have a little more confidence in myself. Which is never a bad thing.
Don’t get me wrong, I am, generally, quite happy with my life, it’s just that last 20% I need to work on, to make it all come together. The old imposter syndrome and all that, but I guess we all have a bit of that in our life. It’s what makes us human.
I know not everyone will like me, and I am now, at this age, quite fine with that. Mostly because I don’t like everyone either. There are people who will always clash with my personality, I’m not a fluffy ball of gentleness, I’m a sarcastic, dry sense of humour, resting bitch face kind of person. And I’m good with that. It’s who I am. And those who still love me despite those winning combinations, get a whole load of love back.
So, I’m going to say yes. More often. Never, ever will I say yes to everything. My kids would have a frigging field day if they read this. Can you imagine the requests!! Plus, I’m pretty sure it would get me into trouble on occasion. “Another drink Kate?” “Do you want a second pudding?” “Shall we move to an island and never use technology again…..?” See. There are many benefits to the word no.
I’m not a yes person, but I’m going to work on it. Lets see where we end up.